Forced abstinence from relationships creates incel communities in the digital environment and fuels hatred towards women
Līga Aija Lagzdiņa/Latvijas Avīze
Photo: Shutterstock
“Women’s rejection of me is a declaration of war, and if it’s war they want, then war they shall have,” wrote the incel Elliot Rodger in his manifesto My Twisted World. Ten years ago, he committed mass murder, killing six and wounding 14, and then committed suicide himself – in the name of rejection by women and society.
Day of Retribution
A 1993 support forum for those who had been unsuccessful in their intimate lives has turned into a platform for men to express their radical views. Over time, the number of like-minded people grew and other sites with similar ideologies emerged, forming an incel community. In simple terms, it can be defined as a group of women haters who support sexism, racism, and are responsible for committing several violent crimes outside the digital space. However, for many people who experience mental health problems, feel excluded and struggling to find a sense of belonging in society, the incel community is the only salvation. It is a place to share their experiences and self-loathing, and to receive emotional support alongside the rest of the world, where these men feel unaccepted and unseen. Elliot Rodger was shy, awkward and immensely lonely – qualities with which many members of the incel community identify. He became an object of worship among the community and was known as a saint.
The Day of Retribution triggered an explosion of violence, and over the years more and more crimes committed by incels emerged.
The BBC reports that in the last decade, around 100 murders and serious assault-related injuries have been linked to crimes committed by incels. In nine US states, 35 criminal cases have been brought against incels and 18 people have been charged with crimes including making threats, possession of child pornography, online solicitation, and sexual exploitation of minors. One detainee admitted that in a fit of rage he only shot at couples because no woman wanted to have a relationship with him.
The incel community is referred to as a terrorist organisation in the media, and often in academic circles, but it has not yet been recognised as such by any government at the national level. Finnish researcher Emilia Lounela points out:
“Media coverage of incels is quite extreme, and while some individuals from the community commit violent crimes and openly express extreme views, this does not reflect the whole community.
Most members will never use physical violence, and have no desire to do so. However, the degrading language against women normalises aggressive behaviour among members of this community and in society.”
Hate crime
“Women did this to us. In revenge, women have made us smaller than flies. They should get a punishment worse than death for this”, says the headline of a discussion on one of the many websites of the incel community, Incels.is. More than a hundred comments have been added to this post discussing the need to sexually abuse and kill women, even creating a pejorative term for Ukrainian and Jewish women. The forum’s publications have one thing in common – hate speech against women.
Earlier this year, American Tres Genco became the first incel to be convicted of a hate crime. Inspired by the “saint” Elliot Rodger, Tres Genco began writing his manifesto “A Hideous Symphony”, in which he expressed his desire to “kill what is denied to me but cherished in my fantasies – women. I will slaughter out of hatred, jealousy and revenge”. He expressed his radical and violent views against women in numerous postings on incel discussion sites that were later discovered by law enforcement officers. The police caught Tres Genco after an argument with his mother, during which he threatened her and locked himself in a room with a gun.
Police found several weapons, ammunition and notes in his room and car, which revealed his plans to carry out a mass shooting at a local university.
This case is a disturbing example of how content in the incel community, often containing hate speech, can lead to acts of physical violence. Members of this community can hide behind a mask of anonymity, and neither the police nor the law enforcement authorities can control the spread of hate speech and crime.
Associate Professor Kristīne Dupate of the Faculty of Law of the University of Latvia points out that hate speech can be based on gender discrimination, and is not necessarily directed against a specific person. “If incels are present in Latvia, law enforcement authorities must react, because like neo-Nazi groups, such communities are a threat to society,” she stresses. The idea that violence and discrimination are acceptable is legitimised.
“In Latvia, this community might be less popular because the proportion of women is higher than men, which reduces the possibility of men being lonely. Moreover, the patriarchal structure becomes more evident in the east. In a patriarchal society, men have more value, so there are fewer complaints about life and the opposite sex. In the West, society is more cautious and many aspects that we normalise in Latvia are considered socially unacceptable.
In Eastern Europe, relations are often more behind the times and more violent because of the influence of Soviet ideology. We more often accept stereotypes and mild hate speech without realising that this is a violation of human rights.
Society still has no clear definition or standards on hate speech and its consequences,” says Kristīne Dupate.
How do the public authorities view this phenomenon?
All the contacted institutions – the State Security Service (VDD), the State Police (VP), the Ministry of Defence and the Latvian Safer Internet Centre – confirmed that they are aware of the incel community. However, the authorities push the responsibility on to one another.
The Latvian Safer Internet Centre admits that it has heard about the movement, but there have been no reports of specific forums or people. Edgars Kiukucāns, Head of the Cyber Security Policy Department at the Ministry of Defence, was not aware of this community, but the Ministry’s spokesperson promised Latvijas Avīze to contact an employee who could provide more information on the monitoring of incels in Latvia, but no reply was received. He suggested contacting the VDD, which in turn claimed that the matter was within the competence of the VP.
Marta Kraujiņa, PR Manager at Centre Marta, has developed a lecture on Women’s rights in the digital environment: from incels to deepfakes, which provides information on the culture of incels, its expressions and the consequences of hate speech. The lecture explains how violent rhetoric from incel forums ends up on social networks such as X (Twitter) and Meta, and what to do in such situations. “It is known that Latvians participate in foreign incel forums while remaining anonymous. A website has come to our attention where people share illegal pornographic content or offer prostitution services. A separate section has been set up where Latvian men exchange nude photos of women and search for nude pictures of specific women.
Moreover, X has become a platform where Latvians openly express their hatred towards women, especially towards public figures such as politicians.
This extreme use of hateful and violent language can lead to women refusing to go out in public, thus endangering national security and democracy,” says Marta Kraujiņa.
In her opinion, the digital environment is so present that changes in legislation are needed. Reports often fail to reach court because the police are unable to identify the applicable laws. “We should be worried about this. There is a growing number of isolated and frustrated men who are joining these groups. There is a clear political divide between the sexes, with women becoming more progressive and men more radical,” says Marta Kraujiņa.
There are incels in Latvia, too
The State Police (VP) Cybercrime Combating Department and the Riga Regional Criminal Police Department’s Office 5 claim that there is no need to worry about the phenomenon of incels in Latvia, as no proceedings have been initiated in connection with such cases so far. This approach suggests that the authorities prefer to wait until a crime is committed before taking action. The VP points out that if a person is experiencing hate speech or threats on these forums, they should report it to the VP so that it can be investigated. So far, no content of Latvian incels has been found during the monitoring of the internet environment and no complaints have been received from citizens.
However, when Latvijas Avīze entered the keyword “incels” into the Google search engine, after a few moments it was possible to find a discussion on a relationship forum where a user with the nickname “incels” had already shared his experiences six years ago: “I am like that (an incel), I have never even held hands with a woman, let alone kissed one. No one has ever liked me in my life, fat girls at school called me names. After school and even now, I am often accused of lurking around women and girls I have never seen in my life.
I guess, I am so disgusting that just seeing me makes women feel like they have been bad-touched by some creep.”
He continues: “When everyone was enjoying the love and pleasure of youth, I was hated and insulted because I was ugly and poor. Now I am a little more fit. And I feel that second-class women notice me, sometimes even try to talk to me. But thank you, I do not need such women – single mothers, old ones.”
On the social media site X I noticed Artūrs (name changed), who lives in an incel environment. Although he does not consider himself to be an incel, he is interested in these discussions and positions himself as part of the community, despite having had a successful romantic experience. Artūrs says that he was socially isolated as a teenager and only started romantic relationships later in life. In his early teens, he had several experiences that helped him understand incels and what led them to this community. He enjoys various reality escape hobbies such as video games and anime (cartoons produced in Japan, mostly for teenage and adult audiences), and likes to discuss socially unacceptable and morally controversial topics. He has therefore spent a lot of time since his teenage years on sites where incels gather.
Artūrs’ social circle includes about 30 young people from the Baltic states who identify with the incel community. However, he communicates with these people on the internet and has not met a single member of the community in real life.
He feels sorry for the members’ hateful perception of life and believes that these people should not be ignored. A little positive social contact could help them to cope with their feelings of isolation, doom and hatred,
says Artūrs. By participating in these forums, incels often make their lives even more miserable, and in the group they continue to feed their negative feelings. But Artūrs asks: what alternatives can they see if not to befriend the only ones who understand how they feel?
Nils Sakss Konstantinovs, a youth psychotherapist, reveals that in his practice there are several young people who are involved in the incel community. Most of them visit the Reddit forums, however, he has not heard of any Latvian forums. “It is important to understand what help we can give these young people and what alternatives we offer. In internet groups, where members with similar interests and tendencies come together, the radicalisation process is inevitable. In real life, there are social boundaries and rules, but on the internet, there are no such limits. These closed groups are not controlled and undergo deterioration, which contributes to radicalisation. The longer a person stays in such an environment, the narrower and more homogeneous the social circle becomes. In addition, incels have no other alternatives, so this group becomes the only support for their needs and interests. The problems faced by members of the incel community are not imaginary. Society has not found a solution for them, so it works through membership of this community. These are young men who struggle to find their place in the world. Although these groups are not a good solution, in their own way they provide answers to real problems,” explains Nils Sakss Konstantinovs.
Perceptions about life begin to form at the onset of puberty – between the ages of 12 and 14 – which is a crucial age in human development. If boys are not given the support they need at this age, especially those who lack confidence or do not meet traditional standards of masculinity, it can lead to a portion of the population not living successful lives and ending up in such forums. The psychotherapist stresses that there are no adequate solutions to the needs of boys in society, especially in schools. Men’s and boys’ problems, such as violence against men, are not discussed as openly as other social problems.
“Young boys need a mentor who can help them understand what they might want out of life. If they had a man sitting opposite them who listened and understood them without judgement, it would be easier for them to open up.
Young people are not to blame for this situation; what they have found [an incel community – Author’s note] is not a formula for happiness, and many of them want to find solutions,” concludes Nils Sakss Konstantinovs.
While many of the incel forums have their origins in the US, their ideology has also found support in Northern and Eastern Europe, including Latvia. While neighbouring countries are sounding the alarm about such radical groups, the authorities in Latvia do not consider them to be a serious threat to society. However, the high rates of loneliness among young people and the sexualisation of women on and off the internet contribute to the spread of incel ideology. It is clear that the popularity of the incel community, and the radicalisation of young men will not stop on its own. By understanding and addressing the reasons why people join this community, we could also discover ways to prevent it.
Neighbouring countries lack support systems for men
Lithuanian journalist Kornelija Zaicaite conducted a study to find out what mental health problems men face. In interviews, she found that young men often lack support systems, and the lack of these can lead to the emergence of radical subcultures such as the incel community. She contacted Deniss, who is involved in the incel movement and supports the so-called Red Pill Theory ideology. This metaphor is taken from the Matrix movie: by swallowing the red pill, a man discovers the true and harsh reality – in today’s society, men are discriminated and should return to traditional gender roles – with women staying at home, raising children and always being ready to sexually satisfy their partner.
Deniss justifies his involvement in the incel community by the lack of mentors to learn from. Nowadays, professional achievements are not enough to fulfil a life –
on social media networks you often see young people with a house, a car and a beautiful girlfriend by their side. Therefore, compared to others, Deniss feels like a failure. At the same time, Deniss is afraid to admit his weakness and his inability to meet society’s standards of masculinity. British clinical psychologist Alex Fowke defines this phenomenon as a “quarter-life crisis”, when young people question their identity and achievements.
Finnish researcher Emilia Lounela stresses the importance of research to better understand why individuals come under the influence of such radical groups, and how they can be better supported. The Finnish government has introduced a draft law aimed at preventing and combating extremism, including in the incel community. Unfortunately, public mental health services are limited due to long waiting lists and funding cuts. A project Ulkokehän Miehe has recently been launched to help marginalised groups of men through individual and group discussions. Young men who feel unworthy, lonely or have experienced bullying need a safe environment where they can share their experiences openly. This would reduce the urge to join extreme groups, which thrive in isolation and radical environments, she says.
She has interviewed several members of the incel community. “When these guys first found the incel community, they felt happy because they thought they had found an explanation for their problems. But as they spent more and more time in these forums, they found it difficult to free themselves from the violent ideology.
Prolonged intake of one type of information can deeply embed radical beliefs in a person’s consciousness.
Support from friends and family has been crucial in getting out of the situation. For others, new friendships with people who offered a different perspective on life helped. Unfortunately, many incels have no such support system at all. Some members were seeing a psychologist for other problems which, intentionally or unintentionally, led them to seek out such a community. However, the therapy did not help everyone, as it is not easy to get rid of long-cherished hostile ideologies,” the researcher reveals.
Men do not talk about emotions or experiences with each other because there is pressure to conform to traditional masculine ideals, so emotionality is perceived as a weakness. Men often hide their feelings and do not seek help. “There is no specific reason why this community has formed. It is a complex set of circumstances influenced by social phenomena, such as the desire to fit in with masculine standards and the prevalent level of loneliness in society. At the same time, many people are bullied or feel excluded, but they do not become incels; so there is something else here that is not fully understood. Such radical ideologies do not emerge spontaneously, out of nowhere; they are rooted in centuries of beliefs about gender differences, and the roles of women and men in society. However, the violent rhetoric of incels must be taken seriously because it has consequences beyond the digital reality,” explains Emilia Lounela.
REFERENCE
What is incel
- Incel is short for involuntary celibate.
- The term refers to men who have difficulties in having romantic and intimate relationships with women.
- Lonely people often gather in online communities where hate speech against women and successful men is widespread, as are discussions on sexual violence against women, self-hatred and racism.
